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Jon Jones vs Tom Aspinall: The Fight That Will Probably Never Happen
- Austin Jones
- 3 hours ago
- 3 min read
Jon Jones vs Tom Aspinall: The Fight That Will Never Happen (And Dana White’s Never-Ending Sales Pitch) - When Satire Feels Real
The Myth of Jon Jones vs Tom Aspinall
If you’ve been living under a rock for the past few years, you might still believe that Jon Jones vs Tom Aspinall is an actual fight on the horizon. Well, buckle up, because you're about to be slapped with the harsh truth: this fight is as real as unicorns and Bigfoot. But don’t worry, Dana White is here to sell you that snake oil he’s been hawking for years, promising that someday—maybe—Jon Jones will finally step into the octagon with the real heavyweight contender, Tom Aspinall.
Jon Jones: The Master of Avoiding Fights (While Holding a Title)
Let’s talk about Jon Jones’ incredible talent for not fighting anyone who might actually challenge his precious record. He somehow found a way to earn a heavyweight title with just one defense (against Ciryl Gane, who clearly thought he was auditioning for a role as Jon’s punching bag). But instead of defending his title against a truly dangerous fighter like Aspinall, Jon’s been living his best life, ducking every potential threat to his legacy. Why fight real competition when you can post Instagram selfies from Jackson Wink, pretending like you’re just waiting for the right moment?
Don’t forget, Jon has perfected the art of making excuses. First, it was the right time, then it was the right opponent. And now, here we are, still waiting, with no end in sight.
Dana White: The Snake Oil Salesman
And here comes Dana White, riding in like a hero, waving his hands and telling us to be patient. According to Dana, “The fight will happen, I promise, guys. Jon just needs more time. He’s waiting for the right opponent!” Oh, is he now? I must have missed the part where Jon Jones actually fought someone other than Gane. Dana’s promises are starting to sound as empty as his post-fight press conference excuses.
Let's be real: Dana’s just trying to keep the fantasy alive. He’s been stringing us along for years with this myth of Jones vs. Aspinall, and just like any good con artist, he’s got the perfect line to make you believe that this fight is still coming soon—and by “soon,” he probably means 2030.
The Endless Waiting Game
So here’s what’s going to happen: Jon Jones will keep on sitting pretty in his comfy heavyweight throne, refusing to fight anyone who might actually take that title from him. Aspinall, the man who deserves the shot, will continue to wait for his turn while Dana White keeps playing the role of the eager promoter, reassuring us that someday—when the stars align, when Jon Jones is fully “prepared”—the fight will happen.
But don’t hold your breath.
Fast forward 20 years. Jon Jones will be in a retirement home, telling the other residents about how he was the greatest fighter of all time except for the fact that he avoided everyone who could challenge him. And Dana White? He’ll be there too, still promising that Jon Jones is “just a few months away” from facing Aspinall, like he’s reading from the same script he’s been using since UFC 200.
The Never-Ending Story
Let’s be honest. This fight will never happen. Dana White will keep delaying it with the same tired excuses, and Jon Jones will keep avoiding any real competition while building a legacy based on ducking. The fight that we all want to see will exist only in the realm of “what ifs” and fan fiction, while Dana White keeps the myth alive with his never-ending sales pitch.
In the end, the only thing that’s guaranteed is that someday—when we’re all long in the tooth, and Jon Jones is still avoiding legitimate challengers—Dana White will be selling us the same old story. And maybe, just maybe, Aspinall will finally get his shot… but probably not.
FIGHT.TV: Keep Dreaming, Folks
So, to those of you still holding out hope for Jon Jones vs. Tom Aspinall, here’s a reality check: get comfortable. Pour yourself a drink, sit back, and let the years roll by. This fight isn’t happening anytime soon, and Dana White is going to keep selling you that same snake oil every time you think it might finally be on the horizon.
In conclusion: Keep dreaming, because that’s the only thing that’s ever going to happen it seems like.